Hey guys, hope your having a great day so far! Today’s post is one that I started working on a few months ago…. when I was still in a Long Distance Relationship. As it so happens, we have closed the distance (we are married) but I think these tips are still useful to others who may be going through a similar situation.
Before I go any further, ill start by stating the obvious.. Yes Long Distance Relationships are hard. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who isn’t serious or trying to be in a committed relationship.
When I met my husband, we were both living in different cities… So we weren’t like other couples who met, then fell into the distance dating world because one person moved away. We met while we were living in different cities.. so our ENTIRE relationship (before marriage) was long distance!
To answer the question of why I started dating someone who lived in a different city? I’ll say this.. BECAUSE IT’S WORTH IT!
While we have had our fair share of challenges, giving our long distance relationship a chance has definitely been well worth it! And if your reading this wondering if you can do this too, I’m here to tell you that Yes you can!!
If all else fails… theres always ice cream ;P
Anyways, here are my top 5 tips for surviving A Long Distance Relationship:
1.Set a Goal
Having a relationship without a clear goal is not advisable in a regular relationship but even more so in a long distance relationship. You both have to be absolutely sure about where you stand in your relationship. Without this common goal, you really have nothing to hold on to. Whether its a goal of marriage or a goal of one person moving at a set time, it is really important to set a goal and work towards it.
In our situation, I knew that I would be the one moving- and I knew that I would only move when we were married.This goal helped me to plan a lot of things out. Because I knew that I would be moving, I was able to set certain saving goals and plan certain things with my career.
2. Stay Connected
When you are in a regular relationship, its somewhat easy to stay connected (physically at least). In a long distance relationship, you have to make more of an effort to stay connected. I think it’s important to be a part of the other person’s day even if you are not physically there. Check in with them when you wake up. If there is time distance involved, the person who wakes up first can be the other persons alarm clock. Check in before you go to bed, and check in throughout the day. There are so many experiences that happen in a single day- you want to make sure that you are letting the other person in on those experiences and vise-versa. Even though they are not physically there to share it with you, it builds greater intimacy and stronger connections that make you better able to understand the person.
3. Be Forgiving
In a committed relationship, you have to always be quick to forgive! Take this point with caution because if the other party straight up messed up… its time to reconsider whether you want to be in a relationship with that person. Is there anything that makes you question their character? Their integrity? Whether they will always be loyal or faithful to you and your family? If you cannot answer these questions truthfully, these are some RED FLAGS. The last thing you need in a Long Distance Relationship is a Red Flag. Red Flags aside, we are all human and we all make mistakes. Don’t hold a grudge and always forgive!!
4. Don’t Make Assumptions
Communication is difficult in any relationship and even more difficult in a long distance relationship. This is because you are often left to communicate without the normal body language cues. Its easy to misinterpret the intent behind a text, so instead of assuming or jumping to conclusions, try to have a conversation about it. This goes back to the last point.. be quick to forgive. Even by talking on the phone (or via facetime) you can misinterpret what someone is saying. So as my mother says… take it with a pinch of salt.
5.Enjoy the time you have together
If you are lucky enough to spend time together- enjoy it! Do not waste your time together trying to settle score or hash out an old argument. The time you have together should be spent on things that will build your relationship, not tear it apart.
6. Be Creative
You often have to find creative ways to do things. One of the things Bernie and I did every single day is watch our favourite TV shows and movies together! We would like to thank the website Rabb.it for allowing us to do these things in real time! It was awesome.. sometimes frustrating when the internet connection was poor, but we loved it! Find creative ways to do the things you love. Trust me you can do almost anything you would do in a regular relationship from a distance if you think outside the box.
It takes a lot of work, patience, commitment to make a long distance relationship work. If you really value your relationship and put all you can into it, I believe that you can make it!
Let me know if you have any questions or any other tips or suggestions about it, leave a comment and let me know!
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18